LIFE LESSONS
Mistakes I Made as a Massage Therapist That I Hope Not to Repeat
I was a complete newbie when I started, which meant ample opportunities for growth
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A man with holes in his teeth asked me for a hug after the first time I massaged him at my private studio. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no. I also didn’t know that holes like the ones he had are oftentimes a sign of frequent methamphetamine use.
By agreeing to hug him, I let him into my personal space, which he then violated with short, quick thrusts of his hips into my pelvic area. I was disgusted and pushed him off of me on through the door.
Thankfully, when I first started out as a massage therapist, I shared my practice space with a collective of therapists. It made me feel safer. Looking back, I think that my clients and I probably made the acupuncturist whose room I rented and psychologists who worked out of a different room feel more afraid.
We all shared the same waiting area without a receptionist to welcome or check out clients. It was basically a two-bedroom apartment with a street entrance that was used as an office space. The owners of the building knew. It was legal and only a few blocks away from where I lived.
At the time, I did not need a massage license to practice privately. I simply needed clients who were willing to pay for my services. The year was 2007. Phones were not what they are now and Craiglist was still being used to find a wide range of things from jobs, apartments, goods, and services at no cost. I advertised there for free.
I also created business cards and flyers that I put up in and around my neighborhood with a link to a website I used to promote my music, blog, and podcast as well.
That was a huge mistake.
My music, writing, and podcast which I had been creating, marketing, and promoting for years before starting my career as a massage therapist should not have been as interconnected as I made them.
I shared a great deal of personal information in my podcasts. It should not have shocked me when clients mentioned private details of my life that I had shared, but it did. That’s when I realized too late what a big mistake I made, especially considering I was and still am an outspoken advocate of healthy sensual expression.
The website was updated within a few months to showcase only my massage skills and services. My business was thriving and it felt amazing for a while, despite the fact that I wasn’t making as much as I hoped once everything was accounted for.
Working for myself without any hired help meant that I was advertising and booking clients, which also meant dealing with people who didn’t show up or canceled last minute (a minor lesson I learned was to have an upfront cancellation policy). I had to find and rent space for my private practice, which I did multiple times.
I did all of my own laundry. I mean tons of towels, sheets, and blankets on top of my work and normal clothing. No one helped me with bookkeeping or filing taxes. Buying supplies like aromatherapy oil, hot stones, lotion, water, tea. Cleaning the equipment, massage rooms, and bathrooms. It became exhausting.
Then the financial crash of 2008 happened and I didn’t have a safety net for myself to comfortably land. I felt like a goldfish that had jumped too high out of its bowl and was gasping for air after being smacked against the ground. The shift in my practice was extremely harsh and sudden. My business had completely dried up. I had only one client left.
I looked into working at a spa, but they all wanted me to be licensed. As much as I loved being a massage therapist, I did not want to pay the cost of attending massage school in order to get my massage license. The state of Pennsylvania changed its laws during this time and began requiring all massage therapists to be licensed.
There was a man I dated a year prior who offered to pay for me to attend school to get my massage license. It was only six months. I could have done it then, but I was too proud and stubborn to take his money.
Big mistake. It was a no-strings-attached offer that I could have used to further my education and career. No one had ever offered such a thing before, nor have they since, but if someone does, I will gladly let them cover the costs of my tuition.
After working at a couple of dead-end jobs over the next few years, I finally enrolled in and completed my training at an excellent massage school. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I kicked myself for waiting as long as I did to attend.
From the time I was a teenager, people had told me that I should consider being a professional massage therapist. For various personal reasons, I did not want to do it. My skills were only for the privileged in my close circle of friends. I left it up to “the universe” to decide many aspects of my life. I was too busy having fun and getting by to do solid research into my future.
It was not until I was in my early thirties that I truly started my career as a massage therapist and it skyrocketed! Working at a spa four days a week while seeing private clients here and there worked far better for me than solely working for myself. I had the best of both worlds.
However, the most important lesson I learned then that I have applied to every aspect of my life since is:
Know your boundaries and advocate for them. They will be tested. Stand firm.
From management to reception staff to fellow massage therapists to clients to friends and family…all of them at one point or another asked more of me than I was willing to give. Yet I gave to them anyway thinking that it would make me feel better to make them feel better. Oftentimes it didn’t, and I hated myself for not standing up for what I knew was right for me.
Over time, my body and mind began talking back. Working in the healthcare field without healthy boundaries is dangerous. Nothing severe happened to me, but it could have and probably would have if I hadn’t made quite a few changes for the better.
The real irony is that “health and wellness” is a phrase used in spas around the world, yet many of those in the field, from management to practitioners, don’t prioritize their own health or wellness. It’s usually all centered around the client or customer.
So, I started being a paying client and booked regular massages for myself. Yes, I needed them badly, but it was also invaluable for me to be reminded of what it’s like on the other end of the table. I used to trade with other massage therapists when possible, but it was always more complicated than simply booking a session.
People tend to take things more seriously when cash is involved. That was another major lesson learned. The time and effort that it took to trade with others was rarely worth it, except when my awesome co-worker gave me a 3.5-hour massage. She was the best! It was also not the norm.
It’s been four years since I stopped working in the massage industry. I moved to Europe and moved on to another profession in which many of the same valuable lessons I learned as a massage therapist continue to help me.
Perhaps some of them might help you too.
